let us delight in mcsweeney’s!

There comes a time in every college ¬†student’s electronic life when facebook, tumblr, and the occasional hop over to livejournal just don’t cut it anymore.

enter: mcsweeney’s.

This is a website for people who don’t like websites. But instead enjoy a well-crafted piece of written comedy. So, for your enjoyment, a few excerpts:

By Colin Nissan:

It Was I Who Flipped Over the Risk Board Last Night¬†“And I hate that you wear a beret every time we play. God, do I hate the beret.” [side note: this could be a great monologue]

It’s Decorative Gourd Season, Motherfuckers “The first crow that tries to land on me is going to get his avian ass bitch-slapped all the way back to summer.”

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Better than You Normally Do¬†“Think of your laptop as a machine like the one at the gym where you open and close your inner thighs in front of everyone, exposing both your insecurities and your genitals.”

By Mike Lacher:

I’m Comic Sans, Assholes “I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.” [ironically, one cannot use comic sans on wordpress]

By Matt Wyatt:

Some Additional Polar Ambulations “Evening Stroll of the Snow Geese”

By Michelle Arenas:

An Open Letter to the New York Times Style Section Photo Retoucher “Like everyone else who reads this section [the wedding announcements], we have no idea why we are reading it. We read it and wish we were hitting ourselves in the head with a mallet while doing so. There is no reason to read this section.”